Confidence

That’s my Dad and me.  I don’t remember the moment the picture was taken, but I’ve thought about this shot often in the last few years.  And especially in the last month as I’ve reflected on what I learned from him.  My parents had a son that they lost in infancy about four years before I was born.  So, Dad taught me to box (he was a boxer when he was a teenager) – yes, box, when I was about 3 or 4 years old.  I think he missed having a son.  Fortunately for me, my brother was born when I was 4 years old.

Dad wanted me to have confidence, to face challenges and to not wait for anyone to do for you what you could do yourself.  The day I left home for the first time to go away to college, I had my suitcases packed and I was ready to leave.  Mom asked Dad to carry the suitcases to the car.  He refused and she got upset.  He told her that I needed to do it myself because when I got to Colorado, I would have to carry it without anyone to help me.  So I needed to know that I could lift everything I was taking.  He was right.

When I came home for Christmas in 1972, Dad had been in the hospital battling the cancer that was spreading, but the doctors let him come home.  It was during that break that Mom told me Dad was going to die.  I returned to Colorado right after New Years Day and back to school, getting ready to graduate in June.  I was so surprised to get a letter from Dad in March, the only letter I ever got from him – ever.  He said he was happy I made it through college and he knew I would be successful.

I guess that’s why I’ve thought about that picture.  He was probably pointing out a rock or something out in the ocean, but I like to imagine that he was telling me that the future was out there and I could make it.  Dads can do that for you.  They can give you an assurance that you are capable and able.  Another way of saying that is strength of character.

As I’ve traveled the way of Jesus, I’ve found that strength, confidence, character comes from the Heavenly Father.  My Dad had strengths and flaws, weaknesses and talents.  And he couldn’t be around forever.  But the Lord is the one who never leaves us.  He surrounds us and gives us strength to face every challenge, every test, every disappointment and every fear.  So, we sit in His lap and look for His direction.

It’s still Father’s Day where I am, so I wish a Happy Father’s Day to all the dads I know.  And a very special one to my nephew, Aldie, a first-time daddy.  May Josiah always see in you the confidence and strength that comes from the Lord.

Boys Day

 They don’t call it Boys Day anymore.  It’s now called Children’s Day.  I guess there’s no Girls day or  Boys Day just Children’s Day now.  In my childhood, I remember the flying carp (koi) celebrating Boys Day because koi symbolized perseverance in life, swimming no matter what the circumstances.

May 5, also became a marker in my family 10 years ago when my Mom passed away, on Boys Day.  One week before Mothers Day.  One of the qualities I observed about mothers from watching my Mom is unselfishness.  One of the jokes around our dinner table growing up was when we were having chicken.  Dad would always remind us that the neck and the wings were Mom’s favorite pieces, so don’t eat that.  One night after years of that reminder, Mom revealed they weren’t her favorite parts.  She said that only because when Mom & Dad were first married, she was so happy that Dad seemed to devour the chicken she cooked, she said that so he wouldn’t hesitate to eat everything else.

A post from one of my friends on facebook reminded me of that.  It said that a mom is someone who says she doesn’t want any pie when she sees there are four slices of pie and 5 people.

I made it through college on loans my Dad & I took out and a grant from the school.  I didn’t work in college because I thought I would save money if I took at least 19-20 credits every quarter and graduate in 4 years.  Mom sent me $35 a month for everything else like supplies and extras like going for an ice cream cone at Baskin Robbins (had to walk through the snow with my roommate, Sandy, to do that in the dead of winter).  Decades later Mom told me she never bought any new clothes for herself while I was in college.  That’s how I got the $35.  I'm so glad I mattered more than new clothes.

Unselfishness.  Sacrifice.  Qualities we learn from our parents that introduce us to the character of God.  He sacrificed His Son even when we were oblivious to His love for us.   As we journey through life in our relationship with God, we become more and more aware that love is like that.  Great love leads to great sacrifice.

And so, Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers I know!  Especially to Jamie, mother of Josiah (my new grandnephew) – on the first of a lifetime of Mothers Days!