just words

Knight of Faith

2011-03-15T01:06:00.000-07:00

Chapter 10
Standouts

"God's calling is the key to igniting a passion for the deepest growth and highest heroism in life."

"a knight of faith" - Soren Kierkegaard

"He accepts whatever happens in this visible dimension without complaint, lives his life as a duty, faces his death without a qualm. No pettiness is so petty that it threatens his meanings; no task is too frightening to be beyond his courage." - Ernest Becker

"Following the call becomes the secret of growth and a key to heroism in two ways. First, God's call always challenges us directly to rise to our full stature as human beings."

"God's call resonates in us at depths no other call can reach and draws us on and out and up to heights no other call can scale or see."

"This world is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there is a rumor going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life." C.S. Lewis

Second, God's call to follow him is vital to growth and heroism because it includes the element of imitation. . ."

"Modeling - observing and copying - is vital to discipleship because of the biblical view of the way disciples must learn. There is always more to knowing than human knowing will ever know. So the deepest knowledge can never be put into words - or spelled out in sermons, books, lectures, and seminars. It must be learned from the Master, under his authority, in experience."

"Real lives touch us profoundly - they stir, challenge, rebuke, shame, amuse, and inspire at levels of which we are hardly aware. That is why biographies are the literature of calling; few things are less mechanical."

"No more do we change by ourselves as we imitate Christ. The imitation of Christ that is integral to following him means that, when he calls us, he enables us to do what he calls us to do.
Has anyone said it better than Oswald Chambers in his matchless description of the disciple's master passion, 'My utmost for his highest'?"

One of the questions in the study guide for this chapter asked,"Who are your heroes and why?"

I discovered the bookmobile in the 6th grade. It regularly visited my school and one day I borrowed a book about Amelia Earhart. I enjoyed reading biographies and of all the ones I read, Amelia Earhart is only one I remember reading. Her courage and daring inspired me. It pushed her to the ultimate pursuit of flying around the world and getting lost in her last leg over the Pacific Ocean. Wow.

The Scripture Focus was Matthew 25:14-30, on the talents. The servants who took the risk were rewarded. What they had was multiplied. The one that hid what he had been given was afraid to take risks. God calls us to live like Jesus. If we take the step to risk it all, we will find him faithful to enable us to live out the call given.

The Eye in the Sky

2011-02-21T12:31:00.000-08:00

Chapter 9
Standouts

"Most of us, whether we are aware of it or not, do things with an eye to the approval of some audience or other. The questions is not whether we have an audience but which audience we have."

"A life lived listening to the decisive call of God is a life lived before one audience that trumps all others - the Audience of One."

"To follow the call of God is therefore to live before the heart of God. It is to live life coram deo (before the heart of God) and thus to shift our awareness of audiences to the point where only the last and highest - God - counts."

"I wonder how far Moses would have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt." -Harry Truman

"General Charles Gordon, peerless military strategist, legendary commander, and mostly all-conquering victor, lived so closely before the Audience of One that when his time came, he had only a short step home. Like all for whom God's call is decisive, it could be said of him, 'I live before the Audience of One. Before others I have nothing to prove, nothing to gain, nothing to lose.'"

Matthew 6:1-4 was the scripture focus with the question, "Why does Jesus require that our good deeds be done in secret?"

Most of the time I can do the good deed in secret. But what I'd really like is for the reward/blessing to be the marching band, the round of applause, the confetti. And what if God's blessing in secret is stuff like patience, kindness, mercy and grace - stuff I will live out and give out. Thinking that way really reveals that I have not lived before the heart of God. But as Jesus refocuses me to remember who it was that gave me reason and purpose for living, I live and serve, love and give before the Audience of One, the Eye in the Sky. The driving motivation of my life will be to honor the Caller.

Terrible Sweetness of Jesus

2011-02-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

Chapter 8
Standouts
"God's primary call, his address to us, always has two dimensions: summons and invitation, law and grace, demand and offer. Unquestionably the former comes first, yet that side is missing among many followers of Christ today. The result is a casualness in faith and a slackness in behavior that show no sign of having listened to any call from either Sinai or Galilee, let alone Calvary."

"All too often our familiarity with the Gospels breeds inattention. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer insisted, 'The response of the disciples is an act of obedience, not a confessions of faith in Jesus.' They did not consider his claims, make up their minds, and then decide whether to follow - they simply heard and obeyed."

"The only way to follow is to leave everything and follow him."

"Disciples are not so much those who follow as those who must follow."

The scripture focus of this chapter is Matthew 4:18-22 (the calling of Peter & Andrew and James & John). When I was about 4 or 5-years-old, I was with my mom in Woolworth in downtown Honolulu (about 1955). It was crowded. We were together and then we weren't. I was lost. I've never felt so desperate, so alone. I looked around and I couldn't see her. Then, I heard a voice calling my name. I didn't see her, but I knew it was my mom - instantly. No mulling over if it was her voice or not. I knew it was her. Every child knows mom's voice, their mom. I ran to her. I wasn't lost anymore.

Hot Gates

2011-02-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

Chapter 7
Standouts
"... one of the most courageous stands in human history: Thermopylae."

"But at their core were three hundred Spartans, trained to stand or die. ("Come back with your shield or on it," a Spartan mother told her son.) They were led by a fifty-five-year-old Spartan prince, Leonidas. And they took their stand in a narrow pass, twenty yards wide, bounded by the sea on one side and the five thousand-foot cliffs of Mt. Kallidromos on the other. Hot sulfurous springs, which the Greeks called Thermopylae, or Hot Gates, bubbled out of these cliffs at the narrowest place."

"But before they died, they sent home the stirring message that has become their epitaph: 'Stranger, tell the Spartans that we behaved as they would wish us to, and are buried here.'"

"As the French philosopher Montaigne said of Thermopylae two thousand years later, 'there are triumphant defeats that rival victories.'"

"Will it be said of followers of Jesus Christ across the world, 'Passerby, tell our Lord that we have behaved as he would wish us to behave, and are buried here'?"

"'A time to stand' is a time to behave as our Lord would wish us to behave. A time to behave is a time to believe as he has taught us to believe. A time to believe is a time to move from small, cozy formulations of faith to knowing what it is to be called by him as the deepest most stirring, and most consuming passion of our lives."

The scripture focus for this chapter was 2 Timothy 4:1-8. As I read it, with ch. 7 in mind, I remembered those who were the "older people" when I first started in ministry. In the last few years several of them have "finished the race" and they are missed. One of the questions asked in this section was, "Why did Paul have confidence that he was finishing well?"

One reason I think Paul had that confidence was Timothy. Someone to hand it to, to take over, someone who would stand.

Several days ago, as I was going up the stairs to my office with my eleven-year-old nephew, he said to me, "I'm going to replace you." I think he meant he wanted my office space (just kidding - because we both laughed). But, in the deepest part of me, I hope that happens. I hope someone who grew up here takes over my office.

Ours for Others

2011-01-20T01:33:00.000-08:00

Chap. 6
Standouts:
"Somehow we human beings are never happier than when we are expressing the deepest gifts that are truly us. And often we get a revealing glimpse of these gifts early in life. Graham Greene wrote in The Power and the Glory, "There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in." Countless examples could be added to these stories, but they all point to another crucial aspect of calling - God normally calls us along the line of our giftedness, but the purpose of giftedness is stewardship and service, not selfishness."

"This is why our gifts are always 'ours for others,' whether in the community of Christ or the broader society outside, especially the neighbor in need."

"... God created us and our gifts for a place of his choosing - and we will only be ourselves when we are finally there."

"... Soren Kierkegaard's observation that life is lived forward but understood backward.'

"Do what you are"

"Ours for others"

When I was in grade school, I wanted to be a doctor. Then in the 5th grade I wrote a play, or rather I co-wrote a play. I think it was about Lewis and Clark. That's when it started. That's when I wanted to be a writer. I don't know if that's when the door opened and the future was let in or not, but I there are times when I look at what I've written and wondered where it came from. It's been almost 50 years since then.

And the classmate that co-wrote the play with me - he became an English professor and has won literary awards for writing poetry. I guess I'm still waiting.

The scripture focus on 1 Corinthians 9:14-23 is about Paul's calling to preach. In reading it and reflecting on it, I know this about myself: for the last 30+ years, I would not hesitate to disciple students even if it was not in my job description and I did it on my "free time". I would do it for free.

How Did You Do That?

2011-01-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Chap. 5
Standout:
"We are not primarily called to do something or go somewhere;
we are called to Someone. We are not called first to special work but to God. The key to answering the call is to be devoted to no one and to nothing above God himself."

Someone commented that the author sounds a lot like Oswald Chambers. He does. In fact, he quotes Chambers in the next sentence. And if you read "My Utmost for His Highest", today's entry echoes these thoughts.

The Scripture Focus for this chapter is Exodus 35:30-36:2. Bezalel and Oholiab were craftsmen called to do the designs for the sanctuary. They were called by God to do this because he had made them to do this. The beautiful designs in their heads and the skill of their hands were put there by God.

I am always in wonder when I see drawings, paintings by people who didn't "learn" how to do that. It just comes out from them. We may call it their talent or gift, but maybe it is the expression of what God has made them. It really doesn't come from them, but from the Creator who created them and breathed it into them. And when they exhale, that's what comes out.

And not just art or music, but words of comfort, deeds of mercy, undefinable acts of wisdom. What we do is not a career choice, but an expression by Him, to Him and for Him through our lives.

Every ... every ... every

2011-01-15T23:46:00.000-08:00

Chapter 4
Here's what I highlighted in this chapter.
"Our primary calling as followers of Christ is by him, to him, and for him. First and foremost we are called to Someone (God), not to something (such as motherhood, politics, or teaching) or to somewhere (such as the inner city or Outer Mongolia).
Our secondary calling, considering who God is as sovereign, is that everyone, everywhere, and in everything should think, speak, live and act entirely for him. ...
They are our personal answer to God's address, our response to God's summons. Secondary callings matter, but only because the primary calling matters most."

I've been waiting for someone to get hold of this. I can just imagine ... a pastor to KTA, or Ford dealership. Maybe a missionary to Macy's or the papaya farm. Followers of Jesus living it out on the job, at play and at home. Every Jesus follower who lives for him everywhere and in everything they do - this is powerful.

Question

2011-01-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

Chapter 3
What stood out to me.
"As C.S. Lewis pointed out, 'The more we get what we call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become.' The alternative is the real disaster. 'The more I resist Him and try to live on my own, the more I become dominated by my own heredity and upbringing and surroundings and natural desires. In fact what I so proudly call 'Myself' becomes merely the meeting place for trains of events which I never started and which I cannot stop.'
Only when we respond to Christ and follow his call do we become our real selves and come to have personalities of our own."

I found out that there are study questions for each chapter at the back of the book (thanks, Colby!). So, here's my response to the scripture focus on Exodus 3. God speaks to Moses from the burning bush. But, I don't know if it's really from the bush or the fire. It just underscores for me that you really don't know what God looks like - he's not the bush, not the fire. But you do know that you are in his presence - unmistakeably in his presence.

God identifies himself as "I AM", not I am _______. He is undescribable. He is. And he calls Moses to go back to Egypt. After all those years of being sure of who you are and acting on it (prince of Egypt) and then finding out you have to run because that's not what's going to rescue the people; then wandering around the desert for years chasing sheep. NOW God calls you. Now you know you go on God's reputation, not yours. Now Moses is becoming the person God made him to be.

The haunting question is "Who am I?" The answer? It's found in I AM.

(Yes, I need to catch up on posting. Reading ch. 5 today.)

Discovered

2011-01-12T02:15:00.000-08:00

Seekers Sought - chapter 2
Here's what stood out to me.
"All is grace. The secret of seeking is not in our human ascent to God, but in God's descent to us. We start out searching, but we end up being discovered. We think we are looking for something; we realize we are found by Someone. As in Francis Thompson's famous picture, "the hound of heaven" has tracked us down. What brings us home is not our discovery of the way home but the call of the Father who has been waiting there for us all along, whose presence there makes home home."

It's so humanly arrogant to think it's all about my journey of discovery. How humbling it is to come to realize that it wasn't about my search for God, but about stopping to see that I have been discovered, I have been chased down by God. The father has been waiting for me to come home.

I remember learning about that poem, "The Hound of Heaven" years ago from James Sanbei, the pastor who baptized me and later led the church to ordain me, to affirm me in my "calling".

So anything stood out to you?

Fit

2011-01-11T01:57:00.000-08:00

I read the first chapter of "The Call" several times this morning. I've been reflecting on it off and on all day (it was Jan. 10 when I started writing this post). I remember when I realized that "fit".

I responded to "the call" because I found such clarity in the Christ life. Jesus wants us to make a difference in this world for His kingdom. I found a compelling purpose in that. As I tried to find out what exactly that was for me, I was drawn to the church and counseled to go to seminary to prepare. Back then, it meant being a missionary or, as some advised me, to become a preschool teacher because that's the only thing churches in Hawaii would hire me to do. For those who know me, can you imagine me with preschoolers? Talk about a square peg in a round hole - what a 'mis-fit'.

About 13 years after I returned to Hilo, and after doing various things as an apprentice and later minister of education, it was the summer of 1990 when I realized it. Discipling students, especially those in high school and college, that's what fit. That's what I was made to do. And only God knew that. It taught me a lot about church positions, church expectations, and the mystery of the mind of God. Not necessarily the same.

This may be an interesting read. Hope it will be for others, too.

The Call

2011-01-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

I read a review of the book "The Call" by Os Guinness and decided to buy a copy for myself. It's not that I'm wrestling with God's call to ministry, not after almost 34 years. In fact, it's one of the things in my life that I'm sure of it's "realness". But I thought it would be interesting to read it because I have been in ministry for 34 years.

I also thought it would be interesting to read it along with several people who are at the other end, the beginning end. So, I gave it to several people for Christmas. I think I will also blog about it while going through it.

So, if anyone else would like to join me/us, I'll be starting on January 10, reading a chapter everyday except Sunday.

Stories

2010-12-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

A few months ago a song popped into my memory, but all I could remember were a few lines -
Tell me a story, tell me a story, tell me a story, then I'll go to bed.
Tell me about the birds and bees
How do you make a chicken sneeze
Tell me a story, then I'll go to bed.
I remember it from when I was about 4 years old. I think it was a 78 record (yes, younger people, there is such a thing as a 78 record). As an adult, that's all I can remember. But, whenever I would bring up the song as an adult, my mom could sing all the words. Now that's she's gone, so is the rest of the song. That's what I thought. Until I looked it up on youtube - technology is unbelievable. I found it. Here it is.

Just listening to that brought great memories of my mom and dad.

The other day I read this on a Starbucks cup:
"Stories are gifts - Share"

Although our 40 Days of Love campaign is a month in the past, what I valued the most about it was hearing other people's stories. Everybody has a story, a life full of events that make up their story. When someone begins to share their story, you know they have let you into their life. You begin to see "more" of them. It's almost like when Dorothy opens the door and walks in to Oz - it turns from sepia to technicolor. It's what made Celebration Sunday special to me - listening to bits of stories from people. Since we had almost 100 people in small groups, that means there were a lot of stories being told over the 40 days.

That's what makes small groups invaluable to the fellowship of Kinoole. It enables each person to connect in deeper ways than an hour on Sunday morning will allow.
That's what is described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Benefits

2010-03-15T00:49:00.000-07:00

Here's the scripture references for the benefits of membership as preached and promised this morning.
The benefits of membership:
1. It identifies a person as a genuine believer. Ephesians 2:19, Romans 12:5
2. It provides a spiritual family to support and encourage you in your walk with Christ.
Galatians 6:1-2; Hebrews 10:24-25
3. It gives you a place to discover and use your spiritual gifts in ministry. 1 Cor.
12:4-27
4. It places you under the spiritual protection of godly leaders. Heb. 13:17; Acts
20:28-29
5. It gives you the accountability you need to grow. Eph. 5:21

Think again

2009-07-25T02:16:00.000-07:00

This facebook stuff is fascinating. I chatted with Robert this morning. He’s a seminary student that I’ve known all his life. He was the first baby I ever saw dedicated when I was new on staff at Kinoole. I called him Bobby.

And tonight was the Enrichment Program’s family night marking the end of the summer. It was a good program. This was the 35th summer of the EP. Makes me think of all the summers gone by, all the kids and all the staff. You come to the end of the summer tired, but loving each young life – kids and staff.

About 3 weeks ago I was in the doctor’s office with a fever. The nurse gave me the test for the flu. As she was doing this, she asked where I worked. When she found out where, she said she went to our preschool when she was 3-4 years old. But, she didn’t remember who was her teacher.

There have been times over the past 35 years when my arrogance takes over and I think I’ve been so influential in kids’ lives. Most of the time I am very aware of how inconsequential my influence has been. When I see where these kids & staff (most of the staff were students and students in transition) have ended up in life, the choices they have made in life, I realize what the reality is. The truth is parents are the greatest influence.

And then there is a “Bobby”. Growing up in the church. There he is on 25 year old video, in the front line of the ep family night singing his heart out. And despite all the ups and downs of growing up, there he is in seminary, responding to God’s call and chatting with you on facebook. Makes you think again.

I guess most of the years in ministry is less about my influence on others and more about God’s influence on me – the sanding down of my rough edges, the heat that makes the impurities of my character float out. It is more about obedience on my part, faith & trust issues between God and me. Less about me, more about him. Humility. Humility = U b 4 me.

Perspective

2009-05-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

I remember the scene from the movie "City Slickers" about 'best day' and 'worst day.' It reminds me about perspective. I read an article the other day entitled "A Believer's Last Day, His Best Day" that summarized a sermon written by Thomas Brooks, a Puritan pastor (here - you can read it, too - http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/thepastinthepresent/classicfaithformoderntimes/abelieverslastday.html). So, seven years ago today was Mom's best day. It may not have been a good day for me, but it was her best day. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Perspective.

Twenty-eight, Thirty-two

2009-02-17T21:27:00.000-08:00

It slipped by me. I just realized it's February. Feb. 1, 1977, I started at Kinoole. Feb. 8, 1981, I was ordained. 32 years at Kinoole. 28 years on an adventure. I didn't even remember the exact date of the ordination. I had to look in my Bible. Feb. 8, 1981, was a Sunday.

And 28 years later, Feb. 8, 2009, was a Sunday. I was in a car on my way to Simi Valley with Aldie, talking about the ministry, about pastors and the pitfalls & bumps of ministry. 28 years ago I would never have imagined that I would be in a car with a nephew talking about the ministry. When I think about it now, I wish I could pass on to him all the stuff I've learned the hard way. I wish it were like syncing your ipod - drag and drop. Yes - I finally learned how to put a song on my ipod.

THE WEDDING

2009-02-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

Ok. Here's the pictures from Denise's wedding.

We all had a great time. What great memories. Spending the weekend with Layne, Aldie and Jamie made me feel a lot younger, especially on the freeways of LA. Denise and Dowd, here's to you - banzai!

On the back burner

2009-01-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

Layne got a new set of pots for the kitchen on the day he left to go back to CO right after Christmas. He said it was "time." Grandma's old pots were old. The bottoms were curved and didn't sit flat on the stove. How could you cook well with pots like that? (Who cooks anyway?) So we took out all the old pots and he reorganized the cabinet. Gave me instructions for the rest of the kitchen as he packed to leave. All mom's pots are in boxes waiting for the garage sale. Most of them she got as wedding gifts, I think.

But there's one pot that's hard to let go. All the meals cooked in that pot for us - stew, spaghetti, nishime, curry stew. I thought about pulling that one out of the box and giving it to Jamie for a wedding present. Maybe with something planted in it. Or dedicated to some other use. Maybe then it will be useful again.

It's a good thing human beings are valuable not only for their usefulness, but more so for their presence. Just being around. Just like Grandma, sitting at the back of the church in her wheelchair - just smiling.

2008-12-11T09:06:00.000-08:00

At the end of 2 Samuel, David says that he can't sacrifice what costs him nothing. I guess I can't do that, too. For it to be sacrifice, it must cost something. And I can't give, hoping I'll get something back. That's trying to manipulate God, as if he can be fooled.

7

2008-11-27T22:30:00.000-08:00

Today makes 7 years. 7 years since the surgeon removed the cancer from me. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for every day since that day.
Thank you for being able to wake up and see a new day.
Thank you for the new songs I've heard and played and sung since that day.
Thank you for the conversations I've had with people who are very important to me that made me glad I was alive to hear it.
Thank you that you have graced me with another year, another day.
I wonder if other cancer survivors are like this? You never forget the day.
I wonder if I should rename this blog "numbers".

I've been waiting for our stats to blog on the 40 Days of Community. So, I guess we'll wait a little longer.

35

2008-10-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

This is the day I grew up. 35 years ago today, Dad died. This is the day I knew that life was not going to be what I thought it would be. There is no such thing as "having it all." Before this day in 1973 I thought bad things happened to other people. Then we were the other people.

We had a deacon in our church named Mort. He was retired and probably in his late 70's when he shared the saddest day in his life. It was the day his mother died. He was 12 years old. We carry some things all our lives. Not because we want to, but because it makes its mark on us.

Grief and loss has made me realize how God has carried me through life in a way that I cannot explain, but I know is real. There isn't a day that goes by that I do not miss my Dad or feel grateful for how I see him in myself and other members of the family.

When I laugh out loud at some comedy routine on TV, I remember watching Red Skelton on TV with Dad and both of us laughing and Mom wondering what was funny. I think I learned funny from him.

He wanted all of his kids to learn to play the piano. I think it was because he wanted to play along with us (he played the guitar). And so whenever I get to play along with Layne & Aldie, I think about how he would have loved to have done that. I know that I do.

I hope I'm getting better at this blog thing. Sometimes, I feel like I need to say something profound every time.

million dollar wedge

2008-09-24T00:03:00.000-07:00

Wheel of Fortune was here on the Big Island taping shows and I got to see Pat and Vanna the other weekend. It was fun watching them do their thing so smoothly with all the lights and cameras. All the contestants were from Hawaii.

They have a new wedge on the wheel that's called the million dollar wheel. One of the contestants landed on it as he solved the puzzle for that round. The crowd went wild. Seemed like we all thought he won it when he landed on it. Not so. He would get the million only if he won the WHOLE game - going to the bonus round and winning it. Well, he ended up not winning enough money to go to the bonus round. No million dollars.

Sometime you think you've won everything, but you really don't know until the game's all over.

Anyway - watch for us (Joan & me) in the audience on Nov. 7 and 10. That's when the shows we watched will be aired.

start

2008-09-09T18:11:00.001-07:00

Well, we'll see how this goes. After 2 years of Denise H. telling me I should do this, here's the start. My hesitation for 2 years was that I could not envision why anyone would want to know what I thought or felt. But since Pastor D has started his it was time for me (the person in the second chair) to begin.

And this is a good day to begin. Today is my mom's birthday - Sept. 9, 9/9. My mom was always the kind of person that wanted everything neat and tidy. We were always being told to "tidy up your room." I thought her whole life was like that. Even the day she died. May 5, 5/5. Her life was 9/9/26-5/5/02.

The other day I was reading about how out of our lives should flow rivers of living water, that being close to God meant that others would be blessed without us even being aware of it. Made me think about mom. Standing up in the choir, singing "Make Me a Blessing" along with the congregation with tears running down her face. We (maybe it was just me) would tease her about it and she would just shrug it off.

Looking back on it I guess the line "out of my life may Jesus shine" was really important to her. She had her flaws and faults like the rest of us, imperfect creatures that we are. But I guess she lived realizing that it wasn't about her, but about others.

Living your life chasing after happiness is not why God made us. If that's all you do, there's nothing much left at the end of it. But, I think deep down inside most of us really want to live our lives in such a way that at the end of it all, there will be those left who were blessed because we were a part of their lives.

Blessing - now that's a good word.